All the Birds in the Sky

Patricia Delfine is an ordinary girl living an ordinary childhood in her ordinary home. That is until one day when she decides to help a bird with a broken wing, who tells Patricia she's a witch and leads her to the Parliament of Birds, who give her an Endless Question to prove that she's really a witch. Will she be able to solve the riddle? Will she find a way to deal with her slightly sadistic sister? Will she unlock her true powers and become a protector of nature?

Laurence (with a U, not a W) is a shy kid who spends most of his time at home building things like an almost-functioning supercomputer and a watch that takes him two seconds into the future.  One day, he decides to sneak out of school to see a rocket launch at MIT. Will he use this time-skipping watch to expand on science's understanding of time? Will he succeed in creating a supercomputer? Will anyone ever stop calling him Larry?

The answers to these questions are all "maybe," because all of that happens in the first two chapters and then we immediately skip forwards by several years. Now, Patricia and Laurence both attend Canterbury Academy, a high school in which neither of them quite fit. Fortunately, they find each other, and tentatively start forming a friendship. Before long, the two become fast friends, and have all the sorts of misadventures that you would expect from a feel-good novel about high-school aged kids.

PSYCHE! They're soon separated and don't see each other for ten years, during which they split into their respective separate and irreconcilable worlds! Charlie Jane Anders has fooled you again! So yeah, Laurence is now a fancy science man who does fancy science, and Patricia is now a witch who does witchy things. Like for example assassination? I'm pretty sure Patricia is an assassin now? It's unclear. The point is, fancy science and witchy things can never ever go together, so Patricia and Laurence have an uncrossable rift between them, which they must somehow bridge if they are to ever be friends again.

Fortunately, our two protagonists have all the time they need to get to know each other, because the world is ending. Oh wait no that's bad. Don't worry, there are plans in the works to fix the oncoming apocalypse, which has to do with the climate changing by the way. Patricia's witch squad has proposed the worst plan in the universe, so that's maybe a bad idea. Fortunately, Laurence's science squad has proposed an alternative, which is also a bad plan but is preferable in that it is not the worst plan in the universe. The actual contents of both plans are kinda spoilers so I won't go into them here, but I mean really could they not like try any non-last-resort ideas given that they are not yet at a last-resort stage of the apocalypse?

Okay, I'm being a bit mean here. All the Birds in the Sky is a fun book, even if it does get somewhat pushed around by fridge logic. Laurence's science inventions are all pretty cool, even though they never get to a super useful practical level, much less an Iron Man level (with one spoilerish exception). Patricia's magic spells are rich and varied, and the associated costs keep them from feeling too overpowered. All in all, it's a pretty well-done balance of tech and magic.

If I do have any complaints, and I do, they're mostly about elements of the world, and in particular its portrayal of "the science side." First off, the idea of an uncrossable rift between magic and science bothers me. This is probably because of my obsession familiarity with science. See, science is a process and a lens through which you can see the world, and even if it doesn't entirely work you can at least try to apply science to magic. I guess I've been spoiled by things like Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Artemis Fowl, Girl Genius, Atomic Robo, (but I'm going to invisible this text so that no one knows that I consider these magic-and-science, the first being science at heart and the last two being magic at heart) and The Entire SCP Wiki. In short, the problem I have is that the driving force of conflict (science vs magic) is something that I think is stupid.

Then, there's the trouble of how the science side in itself is portrayed. It's more of an "I have invented this cool thing now" than an "I am curious about how the universe works and how I can make it work for me." To see what I mean, let's take another look at that time-machine watch. First of all, and I admit this is nit-picky, the book acts as if two seconds is a really short amount of time. Like, Laurence skips forward two seconds and nobody notices because it just looks like he's flickering. This is two seconds: . That doesn't look like flickering to me.

But, more than that, there's the whole concept of the watch itself. Why two seconds? Why can't you jump more or less time? How does the watch know what to move forward and what to not affect? How would it affect a liquid? What reference frame is it using for the output point in space? How much mass can it affect? What happens to the space you used to take up in the two seconds are gone? None of these questions are asked by any of the characters, not even the ones that are meant to be "science people". My point is that an actual scientist would do so much with this, but in All the Birds in the Sky it's dismissed as just another "science thing."

It is, however, pretty clear why these avenues are not explored. All the Birds in the Sky isn't a book about the difficulties of reconciling science and magic. It's a book about Patricia Delfine and Laurence WaitDidHeHaveALastName, and their relationship with each other. The science fiction is of the pulpy magic-but-with-"quantum"-on-it variety. Essentially, in All the Birds in the Sky, "science" is a less effective and less reliable form of magic, with the bonus of not having any apparent costs. The split between the two sides is there only to drive the conflict of the book, and it works.

In conclusion, let this be a lesson to you all that thinking too hard about books can be bad for you. After a thousand words of text, my actual position towards All the Birds in the Sky seems murky. To be clear: I did like the book, although many of its elements ticked me off in just the wrong ways. If you want a deep exploration into whether or not science can be reconciled with magic, then this is probably not the book for you (and, honestly, I can't think of a single book which focuses on that question). If, however, you want to read a relationship drama between two awkward misfits, with the added spice of them being from different worlds and at the start of an apocalypse, then All the Birds in the Sky might be the book for you.

The Hike

The Hike, by Drew Magary, is about a man who gets well and truly lost. The man in question is Ben, a thirty-eight year old with a wife and three kids and a house and an important business meeting to get to. Before he goes to the meeting, he decides to take a walk. The walk turn into a hike. The hike turns into a mad sprint for his life. Then he gets lost.

The hotel is gone, as is the road, and all traces of human civilization. The only thing left is a path, and, seeing no other options, Ben follows this path, in the hopes that it will take him somewhere eventually. Then, strange things start to happen, and they keep getting stranger. Only one thing is clear: If Ben goes off the path, then he will die. As long as he stays on the path, he - well, the point is he should stay on the path.

The Hike is a beautifully written page-turner with memorable characters and one of the best endings I've ever seen. Honestly, I think The Hike is my favorite book now. It's hard to find words to express this fully. There's just nothing about it that I don't like. It has a great little mystery and a few twists which not only genuinely caught me by surprise but also made me completely change the way I framed the whole thing. I love it so much.

If you like good books, then you should read this book.

Beware The Wild

Natalie C. Parker's Beware the Wild is about a girl named Sterling, who lives in the small town of Sticks, Louisiana. Everything is pretty great in Sticks, so long as you never, under any circumstances, cross the fence and go into the swamp. When the book opens, Sterling is steadily watching the fence for any signs of her only sibling, Phin, who has of course run into the swamp.

Fortunately, her sister, Lenora May, reemerges from the swamp, just in time for her mother to call them in to dinner. There is no problem with this situation and everything is fine. Except for the small detail that Sterling doesn't have a sister. Or, well, she didn't. Everyone in town has excepted Lenora May as if she was always there, and nobody can remember Phin. In fact, Sterling herself distinctly remembers having Lenora May as a sister throughout her whole life.

Now, Sterling has to figure out what's happening, get her brother back, and send Lenora May back where she belongs. Or does she? First, she must play the age-old game of figure-out-who-you-can-trust-or-die. Saying any more about the plot would kinda spoil the fun of the game, so let's just leave it at that.

Beware the Wild is apparently Natalie's first book, and I have to say she's off to a really good start. The way she portrays the insidious replacement of memories is better than any other I've ever seen. I do think that the first half of the book, the aforementioned game of figuring things out, is better than the second half, or the game of ACTION. That's not to say that Beware the Wild ends badly, far from it, it's just that the first parts were so strong that the exciting, high-stakes climax seems just mediocre in comparison.

In conclusion, Beware the Wild is fun and exciting and a good way to spend a weekend. When you pick it up, you will find it difficult to put down. If you like fantasy in a modern setting with a pinch of the surreal, Beware the Wild is the book for you. Well, it's a book for you. You can also read other books. What I'm saying is you'll like it and you should read it.

Witch & Wizard

Witch and Wizard, by James Patterson and a second author in smaller print, is about a witch and a wizard. Their names are Wisteria and Whitford Allgood, but they usually go by Wisty and Whit. Yes, they are really the All-good family.

Unfortunately for them, "the country" has elected some fellows called the New Order into power, and in "a few months" the New Order has completely destroyed "the old government" and instituted a council to rule over the new authoritarian state and also they've convinced everyone that not only does magic exist but also that it's evil and that it's okay to do terrible things to children and also the Allgoods are the last nice parents on Earth and everyone else is just sorta fine with it except for kids so the New Order just kills children by the hundreds and did I mention EVERYONE IS FINE WITH IT and also there are apparently no countries other than "the country" because everyone is either in the New Order or in the resistance as clearly marked in the map and also the world is flat I guess and there are no oceans but there's also four other levels of reality because why not?

So, yeah, it's set in an alternate reality where that somehow makes sense.

Anyways, Wisty and Whit have somehow missed the fact that the GOVERNMENT IS GONE AND EVERYONE IS EVIL sorry I need a little time to adjust to this premise.

[time passes]

So, Wisty and Whit were not informed about the new government, nor about the existence of magic, nor about the fact that magic is illegal and morally reprehensible. They are then completely surprised when they are arrested by the New Order for the charge of being a witch and a wizard, respectively. They are even more surprised when they start developing magical powers, such as seeing ghosts and being on fire. Slightly less surprising is that they are sentenced to death. Now, Wisty and Whit have to use their magic to escape the torture-prison and find their parents.

The review so far has been a bit ranty, so I feel like I should clarify: I really liked Witch & Wizard. It is fun, and easy to read, and it moves at an incredibly fast pace. The good characters are all likable, and the evil characters are all cartoonishly evil. I'm also okay with the ridiculous setting, because it just emphasizes the whole silly good-vs-bad fun of the story.

So, read this book if you like fast-paced action and fun. Try to ignore my little rant. Honestly, I just made it for fun.

The Haunting of Freddy, by Dietlof Reiche

Freddy is a golden hamster who is writing a book called The Lord of the Ferrets. When Freddy uses the book Curious and Remarkable Sentences of Death in Ancient Times as an inspiration for one of the characters in his book, he accidentally gives Grim Harry a chance to come to the modern world and seek revenge. Grim Harry is from the 18th century, 1778 to be precise, and he wants to behead a descendent of The Baron, who beheaded Grim Harry in the past. The Baron's descendants just happen to be one of Freddy's friends, Sebastian, and his dad, Lord Templeton. The ferrets from The Lord of the Ferrets are Grim Harry's pets. The rest of the book is about Freddy, Sebastian, and Sebastian's sister, Annabelle, trying to send Grim Harry back to the world of the undead.

This book was a fast read, and very funny even when it is scary. As I was reading it, I would suddenly crack up, with absolutely no reason why. I should also explain that although this is book 4 in a series, this is a complete story. In fact, I haven't read any of the other books in the series, and I still understood what was going on and I had a lot of fun reading it. If you like acting, poems, parties -- enough with the happy stuff -- terror, undead, and hamsters that write, you will like this book.

The Neverending Story by Michael Ende

Every time I read a book, I want to be in it. That is exactly what happened to Bastian Balthazar Bux. Bastian is a boy that always wanted to be in a book, but when he accidentally goes into a book called The Neverending Story, he finds out he wants the exact opposite. The Neverending Story that Bastian was reading is about when the Childlike Empress, Ruler of Fantastica, is sick and Atreyu, a young Green Skin, is sent on a quest to find a cure. Along the way, Atreyu meets Falkor, a luckdragon. Together, they find out that the only thing that can cure the Childlike Empress is a new name from a human from the outer world. By this time, I think I should explain you this: The book Bastian was reading we already went over, but the book I read is about Bastian reading the book and doing what happened next -- going to Fantastica.

This book is filled with monsters, heroes, extraordinary places and most of all, weird, weird people, or should I say inhabitants of Fantastica. If you like all those four things, plus adventure and excitement and a little bit of sadness, read this book.